Touching Heaven

Of all the things that I could write about, I feel a need to express my gratitude for the bounteous blessings in my life.

 I’ve realized that life is always going to be busy, there are always going to be trials, but there are ALWAYS going to be divine blessings. God loves us and is always blessing us, but it’s my belief that the greatest part of any blessing is when we feel the joy and humility come in our hearts as we recognize God’s ever present hand in our lives.

President Joseph F. Smith said: “The grateful man sees so much in the world to be thankful for, and with him the good outweighs the evil. Love overpowers jealousy, and light drives darkness out of his life. Pride destroys gratitude and sets up selfishness in its place. How much happier we are in the presence of a grateful and loving soul, and how careful we should be to cultivate, through the medium of a prayerful life, a thankful attitude toward God and man!”

I know this is true. You cannot be sad when you are grateful, and there are always reasons to be grateful. I think of King Benjamin who taught us that if we were to use all our energies to thank the Lord, we wouldn’t have enough strength to thank Him for all He’s done for us (Mosiah 2). If you ever feel you don’t have much to be grateful for, just think of your Savior and the famous scripture John 3:16.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

For that blessing alone, you and I could spend all our days serving the Lord and we would still not be able to repay God for all He has done for us. And He doesn’t expect us to. He just wants us to be happy. He loved us so he sent his Son. He wants us to be happy now, so he gives us commandments to follow so we can feel closer to Him, closer to love, closer to our divine potential.

In the Book of Mormon it says we are to “live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which God doth bestow upon you” (Alma 34:38). President Thomas S. Monson has reminded us that in “regardless of our circumstances, each of us has much for which to be grateful if we will but pause and contemplate our blessings.”

I encourage all of you to take account of all your blessings and in some way express that gratitude. There is no way you can do so and not feel immensely happy with the life you have and live.

I know that God loves us and is always blessing us. I watched the bible video about seeking the kingdom of God. I wish that everyone could watch that video and truly understand God’s great love for them. I don’t comprehend it, but I believe it is so good. I feel it and I know that as I give myself and trust in the Lord, I will be happier than imaginable and it will last forever. Luke 12:32 says: “Fear not… For it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the Kingdom.” It is His good pleasure, the scriptures and our Savior’s life are a testament to that. I hope that we can all see and know that God’s greatest joy is in seeing His children happy. That has been his design since the beginning. He is all powerful, so why not trust in Him, He will never fail you and I know that as we prove faithful we will in hindsight thank Him for loving us enough for letting us go through hard times.

“Who was this Man of sorrows, acquainted with grief? Who is this King of glory, this Lord of hosts? He is our Master. He is our Savior. He is the Son of God. He is the author of our salvation. He beckons, “Follow me.” (Matt. 4:19.) He instructs, “Go, and do thou likewise.” (Luke 10:37.) He pleads, “Keep my commandments.” (John 14:15.)

Let us follow Him. Let us emulate His example. Let us obey His word. By so doing, we give to Him the divine gift of gratitude” (President Thomas S. Monson).

http://www.mormonchannel.org/bible-videos?v=2681586168001

I don’t expect all of you to read this, but I just wanted to post a list of gratitude that I came up with in just a few minutes. We have so much to be grateful for!

They say that feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a gift and not giving it. So for those who I owe the deepest feelings of gratitude, I hope you read this and know that you have been a bright part in my life and a gift from heaven to me for which I am eternally grateful for.

• ·         My Mom- you have been a rock. Whenever I feel weak, you are there to strengthen and support. You taught me trust and honor my Savior first and foremost and you taught me by your example. No matter the trial, you have never lost your faith, but I have seen it increase and it is you from which I gained my unshakable faith.
• ·         My Step-dad- you were there for our family when we needed something to bring us back together. You brought me back and you have taught me to never judge a person for what they may look like. You exemplify Christ-like love and the power of Christ’s love and Atonement.
• ·         My birth father- you gave me life and I know you’re still there supporting and guiding me.
• ·         Troy- Despite our differences, I have no doubts that you will always be there for me. You have taught me to trust in the Lord’s timing and that all our prayers will be answered.
• ·         Tabitha- My best friend and dearest sister. You inspired me to live a righteous life and you are always there for me. I don’t even have to speak and you know what I’m thinking and need.
• ·         Tiffany- You are my motivation to never give up and to be a blessing in the lives of others. Your sweetness and purity are a light in this world and have always been to me.
• ·         The Hakes- my new grandparents
• ·         Karly- my rock, no matter what, you’re there, good and bad. You’ve gotten me through every difficult time in my life. You exemplify unwavering faith in the Lord.
• ·         Georgie- you were my best friend during the most pivotal time of my life and you believed and saw something in me that I couldn’t see, but you helped me become it.
• ·         Clay- you taught me to trust in the Lord above my own understanding. You see me better than I see myself and helped me see that I am valued from what I am within.
• ·         Ashely Withers- Your happiness is inspiring and you countryesque life has taught me much about the truly important things in life.
• ·         Erica- I could talk with you for hours, laugh, cry, dance, you’re always there for and I always leave your presence uplifted.
• ·         Natalie- You have been there for me since we were little and you still show me what real faith in Christ is.
• ·         Kalani- Oh the spontaneous nights, the laughs and dreams we shared. You are there to make sure I don’t get anything less than the best.
• ·         I can’t get everyone, but I hope I can reach out to all who have helped and you can know you have made a difference here.
• ·         All my companions. You know who you are and what you did for me.
• ·         The teachers, in my life who took the time to make sure this girl understood what was going on. Janet, Donna, Anna-Lena.
• ·         All my extended family, Cali, Randi, and Roni, the wonderful laughs we shared staying up all night. Aunt Cindy for letting us crash in her front room for days on end.
• ·         All my grandparents who still never forget my birthday.
• ·         The jobs I’ve had, the skills I’ve gained and the people I’ve met and the life lessons I’ve learned.
• ·         Music, the artists who use their talents to inspire and uplift me.
• ·         Technology! So I can keep in touch with all of you and skype with family and friends all over the world.
• ·         All my roommates who have put up with me and my silly quirks and who still love me
• ·         All my Bishops who have fulfilled their callings to help me gain guidance I need to be the girl God needs me to be. Bishop Miller, Bishop Hadry, Bishop Ball.
• ·         Emily Ball, my post mission anchor. Shaela, Ahlin, Lauren.
• ·         I have to put salads and smoothies and nuts on this list. My 3 main food groups
• ·         The people I was able to be associated with on my mission. In no way can I list all of you. The Kreins, Cecilia and family, Wells, Cyndi, Davis’, Wilsons, Curtis’, Julia, Mama and Papa Lorenc, Eddie, Lacey, Watchmans (all of you), Nails, Woodcocks, Mary, Baldwins, Nicole, and so many more.
• ·         Dobson High, my ward, Parades’, Dotys, goodness I could go on and on.
• ·         A bed to sleep on, books to read, that I can read.
• ·         Scriptures! General Conference! Our prophet and apostles.
• ·         My Heavenly Father who is always there wanting to help me, but who believes I can do hard things.
• ·         My Savior who loves me and showed it by his life

"When we encounter challenges and problems in our lives, it is often difficult for us to focus on our blessings. However, if we reach deep enough and look hard enough, we will be able to feel and recognize just how much we have been given.

My brothers and sisters, to express gratitude is gracious and honorable, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live with gratitude ever in our hearts is to touch heaven."

I got a lot of my quotes from this famous talk by President Monson:

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1992/04/an-attitude-of-gratitude?lang=eng

Thank the Lord for the Journey

“Life is just like an old time rail journey ... delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride” (President Gordon B. Hinckley).

We have no guarantees in life except that by keeping the commandments we will be happy. It’s my testimony that there is no better guarantee. Regardless of how well we think we’ve planned our lives, generally, just like a train ride, there are bumps and setbacks and changes to the plan, but if we are counseling with the Lord we can be confident we are going in the right direction. I have no idea what my journey will yet be like, but this week I experienced a large bump on my journey and saw that I had the choice if I would continue the journey and with what attitude I would endure it. It’s become clear to me that the happiness of the journey is completely up to us. My stake president said to us today, “It is through pain that we find our most significant happiness.”

I found out on Wednesday that in order to be certified in English I would need to pass the French Praxis, since French was my minor. I had assumed that if I had passed the English Praxis I could teach English. Without getting into all of the logistics of it, I have a little over a month to pass the French Praxis if I want to teach right after student teaching. At first I was completely upset. I felt like I had done so much to follow God, I was doing everything I was supposed to, how could God expect me to relearn French after being away from it for over a year and half? Thank you to my dear friends who were my back bone when I needed it. Thursday morning I reflected on all I had learned and saw the decisions I would need to make. It was so unlike me to be so frustrated. I determined right then that I would find the good in this and do all I could to pass this test and if I don’t pass, then God must be working to make something happen that I am not aware of yet. By divine providence, I met someone from Africa who speaks and used to teach French. He volunteered to tutor me and said if I let him teach me that I would pass this test. I have no guarantee that I’ll pass or not, but I know as long as I do my part, God will not let me end up on a bad path. This is all part of the glorious journey that will not only take me back home, but make me understand home.

I have learned again that happiness doesn’t come as a result of an easy, “perfect” life. “Those who are successful and happy were happy before they were successful, and those who are unhappy and successful were unhappy before they were successful.  Happiness is what happens now, in the everyday moments. “The time to be happy is now.” My whole stake conference today was based on happiness and all the speakers taught and testified that happiness is not what we get after enduring to the end, finding happiness now is enduring to the end.

I love Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning.

 “Don't aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run—in the long-run, I say!—success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it”

This has become my goal. If everything I did was to help someone else I would always be happy, not by an intention to find happiness or success, but because by finding a cause greater than myself I will always be happy, and that is success.

If you are facing turbulent struggles on your train ride of life, if your train has left the beautiful vistas and turned to a more treacherous looking path, or if I you are asleep on the train not sure what is going on anymore, I ask you to trust in the Lord. Endure the trial, have faith when the Lord leads you in the unknown, and arise and find someone to help on their journey. The ride will go on and will bring you back home, but if you don’t understand the purpose of the journey how will you ever understand home when you get there? That is what God wants for us. He doesn’t want to just give us all He has, He wants us to become all He is. Thus we must learn from experience, from trials, all that He learned when He was in our position.

“To live is to suffer. Help us be worthy of our suffering” (Fydor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment).  

Be grateful for everyday of your life, no matter what you experience, it is a grand gift from God. Every day is a lifetime opportunity. Live worthy of all God has given you and will yet give you. Trust in Him. He doesn’t want you to wait to be happy. His commandments are what He has given so you and I can be happy every day, now and forever.

I have been grateful for my students and the faculty at Dobson High. I feel blessed to work with such wonderful people. Not many are LDS and they all seem to think I am a different breed of human to be as "virtuous" as I am. I don't mind being called out all the time for being "sweet and pure." I think that's one of the greatest things to be noticed for. They have also been amazed at my social life for having just moved here a couple months ago. I tell them it's all thanks to my church. At lunch one day, one of the ladies expressed her frustration with single men these days, they just drink and sleep around and she just wanted to find a good decent guy already. I told her she was more than welcome to come meet some honorable men with me at my church. At first she was like, no way, I don't want a Mormon, but after talking for awhile I asked if she'd want to come to a dance, or activity next time we have one. She actually said yes! I'm so grateful for God in letting me meet her. I've been really sad at not having done much "missionary work" but I realize that my example with my co-workers is my missionary work. Paul (my mentor teacher) said that was a big deal for that teacher to say she would go with me. I love this church and would live this life even if no one else was watching, but I'm grateful that my life is still a tool for God. Sometimes my students think I'm crazy, but they love me. I hope some of them gain a belief and testimony in living a "pure life."

I love them all, I love my family, I love the Hakes. Papa Glenn took me to the football game Friday, he was the best date I've had since being home! When one student jumped next to me on the bleachers, Glenn was like "Hey! She's my date!" Papa Glenn and Maman Josette are so wonderful. God truly does love us all more than we understand. Trust Him. Let His love transform you.

Jesus Take the Wheel

How many of you wish that God would just tell you what you are supposed to do already so you don’t have to try and figure it out anymore? I feel like just waving a white flag around and saying “I give up. Just tell me what I am supposed to do and I’ll do it.” A “Jesus take the wheel” kind of thing. I know my life’s really not that hard; I just taught in Gospel Doctrine all about the trials and faith of the early saints.

I hope that no one loses faith in me as a strong undoubting woman. Really, I have no doubts, I just am human and in moments of weakness I sometimes wish it would be easier. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to wish for some other way, even the Savior felt that “Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done” (Luke 22:42). That is the point that all humans must needs get to, (Mosiah 3:19).

Today in church we talked a lot about the trials that come and why. The parable of the currant bush was brought up. I’m putting up the link for the mormon message because it is so good. Heavenly Father is the gardener and He loves his creations. He would never give us something painful if it were not for a greater purpose. We may not always know what we will be after the trial, but God does know. That is why I have no doubts. His promises are sure. I know that not only because I have seen it, but I have felt it. This was a quote in the Gospel Doctrine manual that struck me. It’s from Elder M. Russell Ballard.

“Life isn’t always easy. At some point in our journey we may feel much as the pioneers did as they crossed Iowa—up to our knees in mud, forced to bury some of our dreams along the way. We all face rocky ridges, with the wind in our face and winter coming on too soon. Sometimes it seems as though there is no end to the dust that stings our eyes and clouds our vision. Sharp edges of despair and discouragement jut out of the terrain to slow our passage. … Occasionally we reach the top of one summit in life, as the pioneers did, only to see more mountain peaks ahead, higher and more challenging than the one we have just traversed. Tapping unseen reservoirs of faith and endurance, we, as did our forebears, inch ever forward toward that day when our voices can join with those of all pioneers who have endured in faith, singing, ‘All is well! All is well!’ ” 

One night I was grading papers, I do that every night, but this particular night I was reading some papers that really shook me. These are only 16 and 17 year olds and they have faced trials I could never imagine experiencing. It got me wondering why God would do that. I decided to google, “is God there?” Of course Mormon.org showed up first. So then I googled “why am I here?” Again, mormon.org was the first one up. In reading what the church said in regards to these questions, I realized again that God does love me; He loves all of us. I don’t understand why some things happen or don’t happen, but I know the Lord loves us more than we can even imagine. Joseph Smith said “Sometimes the Lord brings us lower, so He can lift us higher.” I know that’s true.  Trust in Him. Know that He is in all things and He does it all for you.  I hope one day I can return to His presence and see things as He does and realize just how much He really did love me. Till then, I will just trust.

This is the link for the currant bush mormon message. 

 http://www.mormonchannel.org/mormon-channel-daily/213?v=1839005837001

If you want a good talk about submitting to the Lord, read "The Will of the Father in All Things" by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland.

http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=729

or, "Willing to Submit" by Elder Neal A. Maxwell. 

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1985/04/willing-to-submit?lang=eng

Your choice

God moves in a mysterious way

His wonders to perform;

He plants His footsteps in the sea,

And rides upon the storm…

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,

But trust him for his grace;

Behind a frowning providence

He hides a smiling face

~William Cooper

I can’t remember where I heard that this week. I started an Institute class, Teachings of the Living Prophets, so I’ve been reading a lot of talks lately. I’ve also been studying for the Gospel, Doctrine class I’m teaching next week and it’s so wonderful how everything I’ve been studying all correlates together.

I’ve felt really close to the Lord this week. Maybe it just gets better all the time, but I really know as I seek Him, He is there. My institute teacher is wonderful. I’m really excited about this class, already I feel my testimony growing, and I’ve only been to one class! How blessed we are to live in a time when we have such a vast amount of words from our prophets. With General Conference being only a month away, our teacher challenged us to read a talk from last conference every day before conference. I’ve read them all before, but I’ve been reading one every morning and it’s amazing how new insight comes every time! I’ve also been reminded of the value in “starting your day with the Lord.” I think that has played a huge factor in my growing happiness.

Yesterday a friend and I went to the temple and what has really seemed to stick with me from all I’ve experienced this week, is that the future is our choice. We pray all the time that God will let this happen and make this happen, really, the power for what we want to come lies within us. At church today our stake president said, “The future is waiting to be seized, and if we do not grasp it firmly, then other hands, more determined and bloody than our own, will.” We do not know what will come tomorrow, but we can choose now that we will serve the Lord and seek His will in all things, then whatever happens we can be assured is for our good.

 I read in D&C 136:31, “My people must be tried in all things, that they may be prepared to receive the glory that I have for them, even the glory of Zion; and he that will not bear chastisement is not worthy of my kingdom.”

You and I cannot conceive what the Lord wants to make of us. But I know that if we trust in Him, all will be well. I feel like the Lord has been trying to tell me that the future is my choice. In Moses 6:56 it says, “And it is given unto them to know good from evil, wherefore they are agents unto themselves.” Because of the atonement, we are the agents of our lives. Christ provided a way so that we could learn by experience what true glory is. I know that whatever we are asked to pass through in this life is worth enduring with the hope of eternal life.

I’ve been talking with a lot of new teachers and a lot of them are not enjoying their careers. I don’t know if I am just not seeing things the right way, I really am so happy to be a teacher. I’m not the best. I don’t know my English as well many English teachers, but, I love the students. I want to be better, so that they can be better. I have my doubts every now and then, like when they give excuses for why they didn’t do their work. Or like at the end of the week in last period, after a day in the heat, I noticed a couple of the students’ unpleasant odor and I had a moment’s thought of “why I am choosing to spend most of my life around unkempt teenagers?” I usually can’t remember anything bad for very long, so by the end of class I’d totally forgotten about their smell and just hoped that they would have a good, safe weekend and be back with their papers written well. I am so grateful Heavenly Father has allowed for my life to rub against these students’. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that God is totally aware of all of His children and He is always trying to help us feel His love. His tender mercies are everywhere. He is love and I love this church and the work of bringing forth the kingdom of heaven.

The Sun Rises on All

It’s a little sad to me that this life is beginning to feel more normal, but then I think how wonderful it is that I was able to be taken out of life for a second to learn how to really live and to come back and live life right. Then it becomes a joy that this new life is feeling more normal. My mission really was just a blue print for the rest of my life. I look at the life I had before my mission and look at what it’s becoming now, and I am humbled once again by the evidence that my mission was a grand gift to change my life forever, to be a more profitable servant of the Lord. I’m sure I was a decent person before, but I didn’t really understand why I did all things in the church I was asked to do.

It’s like after sitting in a math class and not really understanding why you are using a certain formula, but you trust your teacher that it will work, then after doing it enough and studying it and trying to understand the why, it finally clicks and everything else about it begins to make sense. That’s how I feel entering back into this life. I don’t just go to the temple because I trust it will be good, I understand that the temple makes things last forever. I don’t just believe, I know. I don’t just study my scriptures because it’s a good idea, but because my day is empty without it. I don’t just pray because people say you need to, but because I’m close to my Heavenly Father and I want to have communication with Him constantly. I don’t just go to FHE (family home evening) and other church activities because it’s a good thing to do and it’s part of my calling. I go because “where two or more are gathered in my name… there will I be in the midst of them” (D&C 6:32). Why would we not seek out for the opportunities to be surrounded by those who have the same love for God that his love may be felt in greater magnitude?

At FHE this week there was a girl there who isn’t a member of the church. The missionaries introduced me to her and I spent the whole evening with her. Now here’s the thing, anyone could’ve been that friend for her, but because I went to FHE, I was blessed to gain another friend and to be a friend. The Lord’s work will go forward and his love will abound. It is our privilege to be a part of that work. If you haven’t experienced seeing the Lord’s work done through your hands, I urge you to go and seek such an opportunity. There is nothing better in the world. I feel so blessed to be a teacher and to have the chance of bringing hope and love and joy to the lives of young men and women.

Earlier this week I was thinking about why some people have what seems to be so many hard trials and others seem to have none. Of course this is all perspective, but I learned a valuable lesson. God doesn’t love anyone any more or any less because of the amount of blessings they seem to have or not have. All things are for a reason and from an all loving Heavenly Father. A friend shared with me how every blessing we are given is a gift from God and is to be used to bless others. Therefore, no blessing is every really our own.

It’s so cliché, but I know everything happens for a reason.  I read “Saints for All Seasons” from the First Presidency message for the month by President Uchtdorf.

“The Savior taught that the sun rises “on the evil and on the good, and… rain [falls] on the just and on the unjust” (Matthew 5:45). Sometimes we cannot understand why difficult, even unfair, things happen in life. But as followers of Christ, we trust that if we search diligently. Pray always, and be believing, … all things shall work together for [our] good, if [we] walk uprightly” (D&C 90:24).

I know that’s true. If we live righteously all the promises from the Lord will be ours, all that the Father hath will be ours (D&C 84:38). His promises are sure and He will never leave us. Learn to see every aspect of your life as part of God's design to bring you happiness in the eternities. He loves you. He wants you to be happy. Trust Him. Let His love fill your soul and transform you. He is ALWAYS there.

Here's the link for President Uchtdorf's article.

http://www.lds.org/liahona/2013/09/saints-for-all-seasons?cid=HPTH082913075&lang=eng