The Release

Life has been incredible. I feel however that the Sister to Trisha phase is kinda over. Life is exciting and every new chapter is full of possibilities and the great thing about our existence is there is always another chapter. Sometimes I get really sad at the end of a chapter, but I really have learned that life always keeps getting better. When my friend gave me that counsel when I first got home I stuck it away to remind myself almost every day.

Today the sister missionaries spoke in my home ward and at first it made me miss my mission, but I realized I no longer had an ache to be back. I am so happy with my life and SO grateful I was able to serve. There is no way to explain the changes and experiences I went through. Only my companions and those around me could have an idea of what I learned and how I grew. Today I realized what a treasure my mission memories are, but I realized all that had happened in the last few months and the mission I am still on. There is nowhere else I’d rather be than right where I am. Life really has just kept getting better. Some days I thought I was just convincing myself, but looking back I see a little bit of Heavenly Father’s plan. I look back with awe at his wisdom and love. 

When a missionary comes home from their mission, they go through what's called a release. It's a lot less exciting than a setting apart and a lot more simple. When you're set a part as a missionary you are interviewed and often review your life with those who have had the most influence on you. There are tears of joy as a missionary is set apart from the world to have the authority to represent the Savior. When a missionary comes home the release is simple and, for me, felt like a heart break. I cried with joy when my badge was place on me, and at the time to take it off I cried with confusion and sadness. I didn't want to let go. I think they call it a release because you aren't being demoted, you are being let go, but let go to a more difficult challenge than you can imagine. If a returned missionary doesn't let go of the mission, they will never be able to progress. Don't let go of the memories and the things you've learned, but let go of that chapter and let it effect the next. It's taken me awhile to figure out the importance of the release and why the mission ends, but I have come to the conclusion that the only way for us to reach our potential and fulfill our life long missions is to clasp our hands in the Saviors and keep our eyes on His. Remember, but don't look back. Release and let go and embrace the future with confidence in the God's plan for you.

The last time I was with my family I had the impression to start this blog, and I’m so glad I did. I thought I needed it because I didn’t want to give up my mission quite yet. I realize now I never need to give up my mission, but I am no longer wistful to be back because I trust in my Heavenly Father. He has shown me time and time again that as I counsel with the Lord in all my doings, he will direct me for good (Alma 37:37). There will come times when I don’t know why I am where I am or doing what I’m doing, but if I am confident that the Lord does, if I continue to follow Him over all else, I have nothing to fear. Trials will come, I have no doubt. Trials harder than any I have yet been through.

As a missionary, I learned all the principles of the gospel and thought I had mastered them. In the last few months, all I preached has been put to the test in my own life. Will I really make time to study my scriptures when it’s not set in my busy day schedule? Will I be active in my ward when worldly cares are more pressing? Will I stop to share the gospel with my co-workers during lunch when I have lesson plans to create and papers to grade? Will I continue to pray when all my plans fall through? One of the dear members in my last area on my mission asked me to tell him if I can keep up all the things I did as a missionary in my real life. At the time I thought of course I would, but that challenge he gave to me has pushed me these last few months. I realized how many excuses we can easily make for why we neglect our duties as disciples. I wanted to keep my sister habits in the new Trisha. I promised to consecrate my all to the Lord and His work. I never wanted to justify my way out of my most important priority. Everything in life comes second to the Lord. I KNOW if I follow Him everything else works out! He has proved that to me time and time again. I may only know what I’m doing for a step or two, but that is really all I need to know. The creator of the universe has the rest of the path perfectly charted out. Why question his will? Read the scriptures and see what He does for those who just simply trust in Him. These last few months every step has been out of faith: Moving to Mesa, no friends, no family, no car, relationships, lesson plans, declining working abroad. Now I have my dream job to look forward to, I have a car and I have friends and family nearby everywhere. I trust in the Lord and am SO grateful for all I have experienced. I have no idea what the future will bring, but I know that the Lord is at the helm of my life. I will face every day with trust in Him and I know I will always look back on life with awe at the many blessings of the Lord.

Thank you everyone who has been there supporting me through my life. Knowing you believe in me has kept me going. My aspiration is to be the kind of person that others always know believes in their dreams and divine potential. Many of you have pushed me to be where I am and I hope with my new job and blessings I can pay forward that love so many of you have been the benefactors of for me.

I’m excited for the New Year and the prospects it brings. I’ve thought for a long time about ending this blog, but it never felt right until now. I’m sure I’ll make myself heard in your lives in one way or another, but I think Sister Stewart has finally settled into Trisha Stewart’s life. My authority once was that above the kings of the earth and well… it still is. My calling came when I was 8 years old and chose to be baptized and enter into a covenant with my Savior. All through Young Women’s I said I would stand as a witness of God at all times and in all things and in all places. Then as a missionary I repeated “My Missionary Commission” and now I realize that commission is a lifelong commission that began when I was 8 years old. The only difference between before and after mission is that before I was preparing to stand up and now I am the leader preparing others to stand up. That commission has become a part of me as is the destiny of all of us. Not only do we get to represent our Savior when we take His name upon us through baptism, but that is His gift to us, that we do not have to stay in this fallen world. Through Jesus Christ ALL things will be made perfect. He gives us the choice to become perfect and takes away all excuses for failure. He is the way the truth and the light and we are the examples He needs to share that truth and light with all God’s children (John 14:6). I want to serve the one man who has always had my best interest at heart. I am His Sister and my mission doesn’t end until He comes again.  

My Missionary Commission

by Elder Bruce R. McConkie

I am called of God.

My authority is above that of kings of the earth.
By revelation I have been selected as a personal representative of the Lord Jesus Christ.
He is my master and He has chosen me to represent Him--to stand in His place, to say and do what He Himself would say and do if He personally were ministering to the very people to whom He has sent me.
My voice is His voice, and my acts are His acts; my doctrine is His doctrine.
My Commission is to do what He wants done; To say what He wants said; to be a living modern witness in word and in deed of the divinity of his great and marvelous Latter-day work.
How great is my calling!

Faith to overcome

I love the Holidays so much. I love the sense of happiness in the air, the excitement of all those traveling home for one of the few days in the year, the Christmas songs, the lights, and the list could go on. What I am most grateful for is that as I continually make God an ever moving presence in my life, everything has reason.

I was really sad saying goodbye to my students this week. I love them all. We all cried, but my mentor teacher reminded us that life is not a campout, it’s a hike. I just pray that they all remember how wonderful they are and that they make the best of their lives. I know I am meant to work with teenagers. At times I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn’t switched my major and career goal from dietetics to education. I imagine that I would be less stressed out because I would have a generous income. Then I remember why I went into teaching. It was because God told me to. Money became unimportant to me and loving God and others proved to be my number one. While waiting for my flight, I hung out with a couple of teenagers flying to see their family. Then on the plane I sat next to 2 sets on both sides of me who were traveling to see family. I was friends with all 6 of these kids before we reached California. As much as I love nutrition, I know I am supposed to work with students. Getting my new job has proved a testament to me of that.

Freedom Writers is a movie that inspired me to be a teacher. I know there are a lot of movies about teachers that go to challenging schools and change lives and maybe people think this is unrealistic, but I want to see what I can do. My passion is with the troubled teens. I truly believe many of them just need a little love. I know God has instilled within me a capacity to love every soul and I feel I must use this gift as best I can.

I had an offer this week to travel abroad and teach English. It sounded wonderful, but something wasn’t sitting right. I didn’t understand because I had no strings attached and if there was a time to go it was now. The only down side was that I wouldn’t get Sundays off. I just knew that the right job would not ask me to work on Sundays. I knew I couldn’t take the job, but the future still looked so ominous. I spoke last week of how God answered such a simple prayer about a coat, well if he did that; he would most certainly answer a prayer about work. After turning down the position, not sure what else I was going to do, I was offered my dream job! It’s at an alternative school for drop out students. Many teachers don’t understand why I would want this, but this is why I wanted to be a teacher. I want to not just teach English, I want to change lives.

This whole semester I kept thinking that nothing was going right. Everything I thought I wanted just fell through my fingers. It seemed that every day I was asking myself “what am I supposed to learn from this?” I thought of when Emma Smith asked Joseph “Do you ever think that God asks too much of us?” he replied “I do not let myself.” That response has stuck with me. When we allow doubts to flood our mind then often those doubts become realities. We have to keep the faith not only when life is going well and as we’d like. I want to be someone that God can rely on, someone he can know for certain will stand by and fight for him “at all times and in all things and in all places even until death” (Mosiah 18:9). Anyone can support someone else when they are benefiting from them, but can you support someone when there appear no immediate benefits? How strong is your faith? Many men have lost everything in this world for the God they believed in.

I feel guilty that a few little trials would challenge me so much. I pray that one day there will never be the initial thought of worry, or “God where art thou?” But I am grateful for the counsel I have been given to always when it gets too hard to stand to fall to my knees. I’m grateful I have been taught to pray like everything depended on God and work like everything depended on me. I’m grateful I have been taught to feast and not just nibble on the words of God. I am grateful for the privilege to serve in the temple and for the nearness of heaven there. God has not left us alone. He has taught us how to come closer to Him and know His will.

I felt the truth of Ether 12:6 this week as I was faced to make a decision about work. “Dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.” It was only after I turned down the teaching abroad offer that I received the offer of my dreams. If I had been offered that job right away or a few weeks ago, I wouldn’t have come this close to God. I was forced to truly trust in God. I could’ve taken a different job, but how much did I trust that the Lord would provide? God loves us. Of that I have no doubt. He is always seeking to teach us something that will be for our better good.

Life will always have its challenges, but I hope I never forget who is on my side. We already know what side will win. Satan may win some battles, but Christ has already won the war. The baby who’s birth we celebrate at Christmas, is the man who withstood all of the adversary’s temptations. It is he who declared, “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Trust in His promises and trust in yourself. God created you, do not doubt His eternal and divine love for you. He gave His son that you may live with Him again. What greater love is there than a man lay down His life for His friends? He loves you. Let us remember this everyday and that at Christmas we promise the gift of our love and devote our lives to Him who gave His all for us.

This is a sweet little video my sister showed me. It's called Validation and is kinda old so some of you have probably heard of it. Super sweet little inspirational video though!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao

The love behind the gift

I’m a little sick, but I can’t skip out on writing a little bit. I had a pretty miraculous experience this week. Some of you may laugh when I tell you about the monumental faith builder I experienced this week.

Growing up, I never questioned that my Mom would feed us, clothe us, and provide the necessities of life. Those were things we knew just came with the job. How little I understood that all of that stemmed from love. It was the little things she did that I knew Mom must really love me.

I remember one day in like 2^nd grade I came home from school and there was a new outfit on my bed with a note next to it saying “Thanks for making your bed everyday.” I can still see it in my head. There was a bright green shirt with shorts to match, with a Minnie mouse decal on the shirt. I was thrilled. I’ve always loved new clothes and it was extremely difficult for me to convince my mom to buy me clothes, so to see a new outfit on my bed proved that Mom must truly love me.

About a year later, I really wanted a Spice Girls Barbie doll. I begged Mom for it, but she said it wasn’t my birthday or Christmas, so I’d have to wait. I told her I’d do extra chores, so she let me. I dusted, I vacuumed, and I did extra dish duty. I finally had enough money to go get my doll. (I was going through my Tomboy phase and really wanted Sporty Spice.) When we got to the store they were all sold out, I was devastated, but not wanting my hard earned money to go to waste, I bought another Barbie doll. I bought Skipper at the beach. I loved her and was happy, but still longed for a Spice Girls Barbie doll. The time doing chores brought my birthday closer, and the first present I opened was a Sporty Spice Barbie doll! I knew then that my mom truly did love me.

Why is it not the everyday food, or clothes, or scripture reading, or games that proved to me my mother loved me? Because those things were expected I thought. It’s those little things that no one is expected to do, but they just do out of love that reinforce to us that their love is real.

I’ve been more down lately than normal, just letting myself worry about what will happen with my life after student teaching. I’d let myself take for granted the care that God has taken for me forever and overlooked the truth that He would continue to do so.

Just like the Minnie outfit and the Barbie doll nourished my faith in my mother’s love, this week Heavenly Father answered my prayer to find the jacket I really wanted. I know people may think that’s ridiculous to pray to Heavenly Father about a jacket, but I know He cares about all our desires more than we can imagine. I had been looking for a jacket that was more of an Arizona winter jacket and I found one I absolutely loved last weekend at New York & Company in Gilbert, but they didn’t have my size. I checked a few other ones in the area and no one had it. I even called the ones in Roseville, but to no avail. This jacket was originally $130, but was marked down to $60. I believe God and I are very close and I talk to Him about everything, so it only felt natural to tell Him about this jacket and how I thought it impossible that no other store could have this jacket. I went in to talk to Glenn after praying and he suggested the Chandler mall. That was like the closest store to our house and somehow I had missed that one. I called and the sweet lady informed me they did have it. Call it what you want, but I believe Heavenly Father wanted to remind me just how much He loved me. I could survive without that jacket, but Heavenly Father knew how important it was to me. I’ve worked hard at saving my money and I was using my birthday money to buy the jacket.

I know this is one of the silliest blogs yet, but I believe we overlook so many of the little things Heavenly Father gives us. He could give us everything if He wanted. He has that power. Instead of giving us everything right away, He allows us to work so that we can value what we receive.

If I hadn’t made my bed for so long, the reward of that outfit would have just been one of the many outfits already wrinkled in my drawer. I treasured that outfit until I well outgrew it. If I hadn’t done chores to earn my Barbie doll, it would have just been another one of the many Barbie dolls that have been lost in my memory. If I hadn’t had to search to find this coat, I never would’ve had this experience of faith in Heavenly Father’s true concern and involvement in every detail of our lives.

With the gift giving season upon us, remember it’s not the gift that matters, but the love behind the gift. As you give and as you receive, always pay attention to the love involved in the circle of giving and receiving. Our older brother didn't give His life simply because it was expected. He gave it because He loves us. I hope we all can come to know that more and more each day. Once we begin to understand that true love, we will begin to understand our purpose and potential.

Some you may have heard this story, but I just read it for the first time this week, the story of the fourth wise man by Henry Van Dyke. It’s not that long, so try and read it. Money has no eternal value, but the way you use it does. 

Here's a link for the article. The short version.

http://www.ldssmile.com/2013/12/12/story-fourth-wise-man/

I’m so excited to be home in 6 days! I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas wherever you end up and that you spend your whole life similar to the fourth wise man. He’s not in a stable anymore. He is everywhere and “in the hearts of the righteous doth he dwell” (Alma 34:36).

Peace can come...

What a wondrous gift peace is. I am so grateful for Heavenly Father and that no matter how chaotic life may seem, through Him we can find peace. I have like no time, but go and watch the Christmas devotional. Jesus Christ was born and suffered all He did so that we could feel peace and assurance in every situation. We may not know how this life will go, but if we give our all to Him, we have nothing to fear. Listen to how often in the devotional we are told, "peace can come..." I testify that peace can come. You will never have all the answers, but to those who love the Lord about everything else will have peace come o them.

I am still trying to figure out my life, but I know that everything is going to work out just as it should. I might now know God's plan 100%, but I know that He has a plan, and that plan leads back to Him with all that He has, if I keep the commandments. I have nothing to fear. None of us do. 

Aside from teaching and YSA functions, I've been doing a lot of soul searching trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do. At the temple this weekend I put everything in God's hands and asked for Him to just guide me to what He wants me to do. He's doing it and I know will continue to. 

I included my favorite meme from the devotional today, xoxo

http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/watch/christmas-devotional/2013/12?cid=HPFR120613187&lang=eng

Becoming Me- Perfection Pending

When you give it to God, life always ends up better than you expected. I was a little bummed to not be going home for Thanksgiving, but thanks to the wonderful Parades family, I had an unforgettable holiday and a life changing week.

I feel happier right now than I have felt in a long time! It wasn’t even until I got home that I realized how much this week did for me.

God is definitely in the details of our lives. If I hadn’t gone on my mission, I wouldn’t have gone to Gallup, New Mexico and met the Dotys. If I hadn’t come to Mesa, Grandma Doty never would’ve told her daughter, Peggi Paredes, to take me in. Not only has their family been benevolent to me, but through them I have discovered a lot about myself.

When I get all the details figured out myself I will blog about it, but this week I thought a lot about me and what I want and am meant to become. Peggi shared this quote with us.

 “When we die and go back to meet our Maker, we are not going to be asked why we didn’t become a Messiah or find a cure for cancer, we will be asked, “Why didn’t you become you?” (Elie Wiesel).

That quote pretty much sums up what I have learned and what I am going to do. I am not going to try and be a perfect Jesus, there’s already one and always will be only one. When He says, “be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father who is in heaven is perfect” (Matt 5:48), I believe He means that we are to seek after perfection as He did. I am to strive to be the most perfect Trisha I can be, nothing else.

Elder Russell M. Nelson gave a really good talk on this. He explained how the word perfect was translated from the Greek teleios, which means “complete.”

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1995/10/perfection-pending?lang=eng

At the time, Christ was seeking after His Father’s perfection, or completion. You and I are working towards our full development as well. Later after Christ had finished His work and was ministering among the Nephites he says, “I would that ye should be perfect, even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect” (3 Ne 12:48). He lists himself as perfect now, but only after He completled His mission.

“The perfection that the Savior envisions for us is much more than errorless performance. It is the eternal expectation… that we might be made perfect and be able to dwell with them in the eternities ahead.”

Perfection is pending. Every day you work towards choosing to become the best you you can be. Because Christ completed His mission, you and I can too. His mission was to be the Messiah, and He fulfilled His job. Figure out what your mission is and let the one and only Messiah allow you to fulfill your job. God does not give impossible commandments, but without Christ it will be impossible. With Him is the only way, and it is the way.

I was reading in Mosiah and was impressed by how often it says the Nephites to go up to fight in the strength of the Lord. Their enemies were plenty strong, but they depended on their own strength and were strong only to the strength of men. I realized I wasn’t allowing enough of the Lord’s strength in my life. I have always felt I needed to do everything on my own. It is part of the plan that we be strengthened and overcome challenges by relying on Christ. I know that as we do so, we will never fail and we will become all we were intended to become.

I should know in the next couple of weeks what my plans will be. Where I will go and what I will do, but one thing’s for sure, I am not holding myself back. I never want to get to a point where I wonder what would’ve happened had I lived a dream I always wanted to. I am dreaming big and going to believe that as I do my part by living righteously, I will achieve anything.

My interview was pushed back again, but it is for sure this Tuesday... I don't know if I'll get the job, but I know whatever happens is meant to happen. 

I'm so happy it's Christmas season! If you didn't see my link on FB for an amazing Christmas talk, check this one out by Elder Holland to get in the Christmas spirit.

http://www.lds.org/ensign/1977/12/maybe-christmas-doesnt-come-from-a-store?lang=eng

Bound for blessings

Today I had a minor freak out when I realized I had no idea where my life would be in a month from now. I like to think I’m putting on a good face for others. I don’t like for people to know my personal life or that I may be going through a hard time. I don’t know why, but I feel like I’m supposed to have this perfect life and that I am supposed to be perfectly strong. It’s okay for other people to admit they’re having a hard time with things, but not me. I know that’s a pretty ridiculous way to view things, but its how I’ve always been.

There are a few people who somehow ask the right questions and gain my instant trust and then become the life savers I need. How many people do you think asked how I was doing and I said “good” before the guy came who asked and when I said okay he asked to explain. Now, I know there are a million people who will ask how you are doing, but how many will ask you to explain why? Not sure how to respond and not sure why I didn’t feel the need to keep my mask on, I said if he really wanted to know I would tell him, but it would take awhile and in the end I was okay and knew I would be okay. He said he’s a really good listener and would love to help.

I never suspected this guy would have the answers to bring the peace I needed. Those of you with the gift of listening, thank you. You never know when a girl who is scared to bring her mask down, but who wishes all the time she could will gain an answer to her prayers through ready and willing listening ears. He said, “you’re keeping the commandments right? Then don’t worry! God is bound to bless you! So if you get this job that is what is meant to happen to bring you happiness. If you don’t get it then wherever you end up it will be the best place for you to be. Isn’t that exciting? When he asked that, I really did feel excited and happy. Even though I don’t know where I’ll be, I know I’ll always be where I am meant to be. I am keeping the commandments and doing all the little things, so I can know that even if I don’t get this job at Dobson, I won’t end up in a worse place, I’ll end up in a better.

My birthday was pretty great. I have the best mother in the whole wide world who made an amazing photo album of my whole mission. I miss my mission every day still, and that photo album just brought so much joy in my life. The Hakes tried making a healthy cake, ha. They used sugar instead of honey. It wasn’t as bad as you would think a healthy cake would be. The raspberries saved a lot of its integrity. I remember when I was little how important having a day all about me was, but really I don’t think it’s all that important anymore. I’m grateful to be alive and grateful to be able to love and do all the things I am capable of. I just pray that with each year God blesses me with I can use it to its full measure. I’m excited to celebrate Christ’s birthday soon. I know that the way He wants us to celebrate His life is in remembering Him in all we do and say, that love be the motivating power behind everything we do, selfless love.

Henry Van Dyke said, “Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.”

I know it's true that Heavenly Father loves us. Every commandment is given with the design to bring us more happiness and to protect us from unnecessary sorrow. I am not worried about what will come because I am committed to always follow and serve the Lord, which guarantees eternal joy.

I posted this on my fb page, but if you want a great talk to get in the mood for Thanksgiving read this,

http://www.lds.org/prophets-and-apostles/unto-all-the-world/reconciliation-and-thanksgiving?lang=eng

Last thing, one of the students I got really close to moved this week. I obviously can't share a lot about him, but he was a student I know I was supposed to be here to meet. He came to tell me bye and said thank you for caring about him. I really love these kids so much and hate the thought of saying goodbye, they are such a huge part of my life, they are my life. I am grateful that God inspired me to switch careers and be a teacher, this week I saw at least one reason why I was meant to be a teacher. I miss my mission, but I am still in the business of saving souls, as I will always be. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.

The Hakes took this right before Josette sang Happy Birthday to me in French! Thank you to everyone for a most Happy Birthday.

Roses from the thorns

I’m trying to get used to going out all the time. From my mission and then being so wrapped up in studying for French, I haven’t had so much free time in what feels like forever. Mesa is definitely a great place to meet new people every day. For not having a car I think I’ve done really well at going out every night. From FHE to Institute to Stake choir for Elder Holland to dances almost every other night, bonfires, motorcycles, learning to drive stick, it’s sure great being young and single. As much as of course I want to get married and be a mommy, (I mean this is the girl who went to a party with singles tonight and hung out with the 10 year old girl the whole time and was best friends with her before the night was over) I realize this time of my life is such a privilege. We will be married for eternity and only be single for a tiny fraction of our existence. There are so many experiences to be had as a single young adult that you may never have in any other position in life. At church today our stake president gave us all the talk about dating and getting married, but there are definitely many blessings to being single. God will give us all the very best and if you aren’t married yet, don’t worry, keep being valiant because God only gives the very best. Our obedience is our assurance of happiness. One of my friends has talked about going to Sweden, and why not when she can? Maybe I’ll end up back in France for a little bit. Whatever happens, when we follow the Lord we can know we are exactly where we need to be.

I love my students. They just finished studying The Crucible. I had a student at the beginning of the year that wasn’t a huge fan of the class, but now she is one of the strongest students and her attitude encourages others. When I passed back their test scores for The Crucible, she was so happy and said that she had never done that well on a test and it was because she actually enjoyed what she was reading. It’s students like her that encourage me to keep teaching.

My final observation was a little anticlimactic. The BYUI people came during my prep and so only looked at my portfolio, but she super loved it and I guess is just trusting I am an awesome teacher. I have been working on getting my application done for Mesa School District and the other day Dobson asked if I had finished because they want to set up an interview with me. I was worried because I found out I wouldn’t be getting my French scores until the end of December, so I thought I couldn’t get certified. When when we had our review with all the guys from BYUI I asked the department chair and he said that if Dobson wants to hire me then they will let me get my certification early, without worrying about French!!!! What a blessing! I still really want to get certified in French and I’m glad I worked my butt off to get that test done, but it’s so comforting to know that I can get certified at least in English. So, now I just have to do well in my interview!!

This is the first year I’m like so not excited for my birthday, but I’m just glad to have the great life that I do have and for all the wonderful people I’ve met and experiences I’ve had in the last 23 years. When I look back on my life, I see so many good memories and hard times that were so vital to helping me become closer to the girl I have always wanted to be. I remember there were days when I didn’t know how I could go on or why God couldn’t just make things better, and I realize that His goal always has been to make things better than I could ever know. It gives me the faith to trust in Him now and forever, that whatever hard things I may think I go through, they truly are blessings in disguise. As I trust Him, He brings roses from amongst thorns.

I’ll end this with a quote I heard at Institute from Elder Neal A. Maxwell. I super loved it.

“God does not begin by asking us about our ability, but only about our availability, and if we then prove our dependability, he will increase our capability.”

You and I are designed to be perfect. There is no exception. Every single person has a plan from Heavenly Father to be just like Him. It’s our privilege to seek out that plan from Him, believe in it, and live it. How grateful we ought to be to Them who make eternal life a reality.

Cleaving unto God

“Cleave unto God as he cleaveth unto you.” I read that today in Jacob 6:5. Imagining the Lord cleaving unto me is a humbling image. This week I have truly seen how He is always desiring to hold us as close to Him as possible. No one likes heartbreak, so why does the Lord allow us to go through it? A friend helped me realized that there is so much we don’t understand, but Heavenly Father is always closer than we think. He would never guide us in a way that wasn’t for our better good. With my heart break, I was so worried that I wouldn’t be able to get through this week. I have no family here and my best friends are only as close as my laptop and cell phone. I told Heavenly Father I would need Him to be with me more than ever. He did not let me down. I have been amazed this week with how much He has done to ease my pain and help me gain clarity.

As hard as it is to not see your prayers work out as you’d like, do not let it discourage you. Cleave unto the Lord as he cleaveth unto you. As I kept my focus on God, I was amazed at what a great week I had. In some ways, I’m grateful for this setback because it has helped me see all the many blessings and great friends I do have. In Relief Society today we talked all about the value of serving others. The Lord says that it is usually through others that He answers our prayers. I’ve seen that so much as I have the opportunity to help God by loving others, but this week I have seen how much the Lord really loves me by the many people that have done seemingly small things for me.

Monday I came home a wreck; I was so saddened by how my prayers weren’t being answered. When I got home I found a package waiting for me. One of my dear friends had this package ready for me for awhile, and finally got it sent. I know it’s no coincidence she sent it on that day. God loves me and knew what a gift from heaven it would be to me that day. Not only did that friend love me, but she was an instrument in the Lord showing me His love. The ladies at work have been so wonderful to me and so have the friends I have made here. I don’t think I realized how many loved ones I had made here until I saw them come to me and support me without my asking for it.

Although maybe what I prayed for didn’t happen, I know the Lord will only help me obtain the best. Remember, the Lord doesn’t give stones, He only gives bread. God has kept me busy and I have done so many fun things that I hadn’t done in awhile it seems. Some of my friends joke that French got between us. We talk about things like “Before French Test” and “After French Test” and all in between was like this dark abyss of my life where I didn’t go out. It feels so good to be done! I am still anxious to receive my scores, but if anything I’ve learned I can do hard things. I needed to get my portfolio done and I had so much I needed to do since I put it aside to study French, but it was a breeze compared to relearning French in a couple months.

BYU Idaho comes to observe me Wednesday, so this is the big day! I’m not worried though, God is cleaving unto me and as long as I keep cleaving onto him, everything will be the very best it can be. Sometimes things don’t happen as we visualize, and that’s okay. Sometimes that visual was just meant to get us to an even better one. Just because your dream changes doesn’t mean it was wrong. It was right then. You just have to keep listening, taking one step at a time into the light. I really like the newest Mormon Message by Elder Holland, “Wrong Roads.” Sometimes taking a “wrong road” for a little while is the fastest way for the Lord to show us the right way. Trust in the Lord and don’t ever forget that he is cleaving unto you. We are His work and glory and everything He does is designed to bring us eternal happiness. Who knows where life will take us, but follow the spirit and you’ll end up in the celestial kingdom with your Heavenly Father and Savior. “If for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived” (Holland).

Link for Elder Holland's message and then I just super loved this picture.

http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=2714780496001&cid=HPWE110613145

Sometimes I still feel like that little girl in His arms... He loves us SO much, if you doubt it, stop, just believe because I KNOW it's true and so do millions of others. I try to listen to a couple conference talks a day, just while I'm lolly gagging around and I promise that just hearing the prophets and apostles confidence in their testimonies of Christ will help give you your confidence and faith. They're calling is to witness of the reality of Christ and of His restored church. Open your heart and let the love of God flow in. I listened to this one by Elder Maxwell, it's a little older, but it hit me really hard. You and I are more loved than we can possibly comprehend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOsQxg-qtOU

All is well

This one has to be short, I know I may have only traveled one state away, but I am so exhausted. I'm pretty sure God really sustained me through the last couple of months to get through this French test and now my energy is totally depleted. I need Him to sustain me for just a couple more weeks for me to get my work sample all done for student teaching.

Getting to Provo turned out to be much more difficult than hoped. I wish I could disprove the common idea that I am a ditz, but that life long endeavor is still proving to be a challenge. When I went to check in for my flight on Thursday the screen said that the flight had already departed. Turns out not only did I mess up the day, but I bought a ticket for a totally different month. October 31 instead of November 1. Who does that? After thinking this was a joke, I realized that once again I was the joke, then I realized I needed to find another flight for the next day. I called my hero, mother, and she got it all worked out since I had classes to teach.

It was incredible to see my dear friends that I hadn't seen since before my mission. My darling sister took great care of me. I won't find out my scores for a few weeks, but it felt good, so now I just wait with my hands clasped together!

I do want to testify that life is so good! I think I have taken for granted how things just always seem to work out. Lately it seems that if there's not one trial there is another one. When I was skyping my family I realized that God must be wanting to keep me humble, for which I must thank Him. I heard in church today,
"If there's one person who wants you to make it to the celestial kingdom it's Him." I know that's true. Everything in our lives is part of His grand design to bring us back to Him. Sometimes we may wonder why we have certain challenges and what our gifts are, but I promise God knows. He loves us all the same. "the one being is as precious in his sight as the other" (Jac 2:21). When the Lord counselled the prophet Samuel on which of the sons of Jesse should be chosen for the next king He said, "the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart" (1 Sam 16:7). I believe that it is our privilege to see as the Lord and not as man, to see others AND ourselves His way.

So many of us compare ourselves to others or even to some perfect idea of what we know we ought to be. If only we could see ourselves as God sees us. It is our privilege to see in that light. If we seek to truly know our Heavenly Father, we will see as He does. Someone else said today "If we want a good relationship with our Heavenly Father, we have to give it." It's my prayer that the world will offer to the Lord the kind of relationship they hope to receive from Him. The same goes for all relationships. We cannot expect to receive if we don't give. The beauty is that when we do give, we always receive more than we could possibly give. When love is given it is not depleted, it is increased.

Life may be confusing and frustrating and at times I may wonder what God's idea of my better good possibly could be, but I hold on to the promises. I hold on to the moments He has spoken, comforted, and reassured me. When all things seem to be falling apart, I remember it's not I who is supposed to be holding it all together, it's God. He is and He always will. If we live our lives so that we are always right with God, we can be confident that "all is well." I think that's why the prophet wrote this to the saints concerning their persecution while he himself was a prisoner in Liberty Jail: "let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed" (D&C 123:17). Like the early saints, we may face trial on top of trial. We, like them, can do all we can and then be confident that the Lord WILL prosper us. He will, that I know.

They that know Him

“They that know thy name will put their trust in thee” (Psalms 9:10). In my studies lately I kept asking God to help me to trust Him more and today in church the thought came to me that I was asking the wrong thing. God can only do so much to get us to trust Him. The question I needed to be asking is “How can I trust thee more?” I decided to look up all the scriptures that reference Trust in God, it was this psalm that stood out most to me, “They that know thy name will put their trust in thee.” My answer was that I needed to do more to truly know my God.

As I was visiting with a sister in my ward, we discussed the great love that God has for us. However, sometimes we feel so inadequate that we should ask for such a being for help. Then and there I realized my lack of trust, how far I was from really knowing my Heavenly Father. As grand as this universe is, WE are the reason it was created. WE are the reason He counseled men to account for as long as the world has existed to document His dealings with them, His love for them. WE are the reason He sent His Only Begotten Son to live the most difficult life in existence, to be beaten and crucified. Why do we question such love? It is because Satan is so good at placing doubts in our hearts. We feel that because we have done too many wrong things, or done the same wrong thing too many times. Or promised God we would be better and then fallen, and then promised, and then fallen, again and again, until we finally are convinced by the father of lies that God surely is sick of hearing us promise the same thing and not following through. Let me just say that when we promised to endure to the end we did not promise perfection to the end, we promised “to continue in patience until [we] are perfected” (D&C 67:13).

I have felt so many times that I was unworthy of praying to my God because I know where I am weak, and I know He knows. It’s a very humbling thing to come to the one who knows you better than you know yourself and “bother” Him with the things you desire or need when you think there are so many more deserving people He could be listening to. What an immature thought that is to think that the One who created and governs time and the universe is on some kind of time crunch. He can and will listen to every one of His children and He is on no agenda.

Now I may say all these things, but if you know me, you know that the things I write about are the things that I need the most help with and am working through on my own, that’s why I write. I have had those moments when I felt I could not pray. I knelt by my bed, or on the bathroom floor, in a closet, and knelt there crying just wishing I could feel worthy to say my hearts desires. Finally, the words come and the love of God enters in. Today I realized how much I do not know my Heavenly Father and that is why I feel I lack the trust in Him I need. 

How grateful I am not only for the scriptures that are a testimony of His constant unconditional love, but for living prophets, for the endless amount of encouragement found on lds.org, mormon.org, the mormon channel. For the temple! You cannot be there and not know that your Heavenly Father is aware of you and that everything He does is for you. I'm grateful that I can listen to a talk every morning for the rest of my life and still never be able to hear every talk that has ever been given by God’s guided leaders. Everyday more are added to the list! How is it that we have such a bountiful amount of evidence of God’s love I still have my doubts? First of all, because Satan is evil and second, because the only thing that can convince us is the Holy Ghost sealing in our hearts that His love is real.

I know that as I seek to truly know my Heavenly Father, I will trust in Him more. Then I will able to be all that I was created to be. He is wonderful. He truly loves us. Do not just take my word for it, or any of the apostles or anyone else, but let our word encourage you to know that love for yourself. As we begin to believe in such a pure love, we will become it. Together, as we selflessly love, we will come to know God and we will have an unfailing trust in Him and in His promises.

School’s been great. I love my students. I take my French test this Saturday and as much time as I could use to prepare, I am so ready to be done. I have truly never been more exhausted in my life. I’ve gotten sick twice this month now and I hardly ever get sick. The Hakes are so good to me and my tutor has spent hours every day helping prepare me for this. I’ve put my all in it and will give my all this week and trust in the Lord that whatever the outcome, everything will work out.

I love this gospel with all my heart and am so grateful for my knowledge that God loves me unconditionally. He always has and always will. I just hope that I can do what I need to do to know Him better every day and have enough trust and faith that I can change every day to be more like Him. 

This is a bit of a long address from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, but I listened to it this morning and was greatly impressed. I know that each of us is here at this specific time for a reason. God saved us for this day for a reason. God needs you. Do not doubt it. Find out why, and what you can do to accomplish all that He needs you to do. God is calling.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8MI6nyvTNw

Peace from Prayer

I wish there was a way to capture the moments of peace the spirit gives us and place them in a jar to turn to in times of doubt. I guess that’s why the prophets admonish us to keep journals. I have such a strong testimony that we can always know what we are supposed to do if we seek the Lord’s will with real intent. As a missionary, we taught this principle all the time, but it feels like a while I’ve really thought about it. Moroni’s promise is the first thing missionaries share because taking him up on that promise will change anyone’s life. We should apply that promise every time we seek guidance or understanding on anything. I remember teaching people on my mission that all the questions of the soul can be answered through The Book of Mormon. Moroni promises the world that they read The Book of Mormon, ponder about it, and ask God with a sincere heart and with real intent if it is true, they WILL know by the power of the Holy Ghost if it is true. Then he adds, “And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.”

People wonder why so many young men and women give their lives up to serve missions. Well that is why. They have the greatest promise in the world to share. ALL life’s concerns and questions of the soul can be answered in The Book of Mormon. All we need to do is truly ask.

This week I sought God’s guidance for something I knew only He could bring me peace on. I remembered what Moroni said about real intent. When we would tell people to ask God with real intent if The Book of Mormon we told them it meant that they would be willing to act on WHATEVER answer God gave them. So often we pray with a bias. We know what we want and we just want God to tell us that what we desire is the right thing. If you want God to guide you in the best way, you have to be willing to trust His will and trust that the greatest good will come by following whatever He tells you. We are told we must have a “broken heart and a contrite spirit” (3 Nephi 12:19.) We must allow our will to be swallowed up in the will of the Father. (Mosiah 15:7.)

Getting to that point is sometimes difficult, but I promise that it is always worth it. God loves us. He wants us to be happy and if we trust Him we are guaranteed all that He has. Happiness beyond imagination is ours. I watched Elder Bednar’s videos about “Light” and they gave me so much clarity, especially the part about seeing a light through the fog and taking one step at a time to reach it. We will know the end when the time is right, but for now He guides us one step at a time. Trust Him and take those little steps towards Him even though you don’t know how those steps will get you there. Tell God you are willing to do whatever He tells you and I KNOW He will tell you in your mind and in your heart what you should do (D&C 8:2). Then make sure you right it down because just like after Moses’ vision with the Lord, Satan will come and try and confuse and deceive you (Moses 1). Remember that that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good (Moroni 7:13). “Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith” (President Uchtdorf).

I really thought I was going to make this post short, but yet again my thoughts kept flowing. God does speak. We have prophets to lead and guide us and we have the greatest gift, the gift of the Holy Ghost, who tells us all things that we should do. I pray that we all call upon and use that great gift as if it were the greatest gift we had.

I love my students and am so ready for this French test to be over with in 2 weeks so I can focus on them more, and have somewhat of a life again. I have already started listening to Christmas music, just piano music, but I sure love it, it’s only like 2 months away!

I was able to see a couple of wonderful people from my mission last night and hold their baby that I never got to hold as a missionary. I love this gospel so much and am so grateful for this church and all its programs. Institute is amazing and I love my class and teacher. I love my ward and how genuinely kind everyone is. I love my friends and family all over the country and world who love and support me. Most of all, I love my Heavenly Father who watches over me and who through every trial brings me a little closer to Him. I love my Savior whose Atonement gives me faith and hope that my righteous desires can and will be reached. I and we can have our greatest dreams come true. What glorious news we have to share. I pray we may all believe in Him enough to believe in what He can do for us. 

Here's a link for the short videos by Elder Bednar. This is the last one, but it has the part about how receiving God's guidance is often like walking through the fog.

http://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2012-01-012-patterns-of-light-spirit-of-revelation?lang=eng

God is so good!

God is so good. I wish to say that I cannot wait to see Him again, but then I’m pretty sure I can because I’m not ready for this life to be over. But I can say that seeing Him again will be a more glorious reunion than I can possibly imagine. I love Him so much. I think of I Jhn 4:10 when he says, “Herein is love, not that we love God, but that he loved us..” I wish I could say that the reason I love God is simply because He is my father, but the biggest reason I love Him so much is because He loves me so much, of that I have no doubt. We all make mistakes, but he expects that! If he expected us to be perfect He would’ve either gone with Satan’s plan, or intended for us to fail. But He loves us. Truly loves us, and that is why He sent us to make mistakes, to learn to trust in Him and His love. Jesus Christ knew all along that he was going to provide an Atonement for us. At-one-ment: to bring back together that which has been estranged. When you think of your mistakes, do not think of how unworthy you are. Rather, realize that if you are feeling guilty then you are in the right place to be given forgiveness and healing! You are align with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ’s plan by feeling so!


A good friend of mine told me yesterday that God does not put negative feelings in you. That is Satan, God only gives good. When the Pharisees and scribes brought the woman who committed adultery before the Savior, he didn’t make her feel awful for her sin did He? That is not His way. His way is love. The scripture says, “and said [He] unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her… When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more” (John 8:7-11). The scribes and Pharisees like the adversary wanted “the sinner” to feel worthless for her sin. Jesus Christ provided hope. He showed to them and all of us, that all of us sin. No one can cast a stone because everyone is with sin. You may think, your sin is so great that it’s different for you, but if you feel that way I encourage you to study the life of Saul turned to Paul, or Alma the Younger. If people who have committed such sins against God as them can be forgiven and changed, anyone can.

I have always been someone with pretty strong faith, but Satan has really been working on me to make me think that God must not love me since He is not answering my prayers. I speak with God all the time, and yes it’s true I sometimes weaken because I don’t know why He hasn’t given me what I most want when I have and am doing all I can to keep his commandments. I know God just weeps when we have thoughts like this. He yearns for us to see things as He does. He yearns for us to trust Him. I searched “ask” in the scriptures and found that it appeared in more than 420 different locations. I realized then that Heavenly Father would not include that so many times if He really wasn’t intending on giving us what we ask for. In Matt 7 the Savior says that when we ask for bread the Lord will not give a stone, or if we ask for a fish we will not be given a serpent. There is an excellent talk by S Michael Wilcox called “Bread or Stones: understanding the God we pray to” in which he elaborates on this idea. He says that,

“What we must understand about our Father in Heaven is that He only gives bread; He never gives stones. He only gives fish; He never gives serpents. He only gives eggs; He never gives scorpions.” He continues,“A stone, when you want bread, is something useless. God does not give useless things. He did not give me a serpent; a serpent, when you want a fish, is something harmful. He does not give harmful things; He only gives bread, and fish, and eggs.”

God only gives good things. Trust in Him. Trust in His plan. Maybe the bread for you isn’t what you were praying for. He loves you and wants to give you the very best. Everything you ask for in faith will be given, so do not give up hope. He will provide.

I love God so much. This week off school I gave my all to studying French. My tutor was here pretty much all day everyday and I have been so exhausted. I was able to go dancing one night and to the temple another and help cater a wedding, but French has consumed my life. I want to pass this test so I can get certified to teach and I know that God will help me so long as I show Him how bad I want it. I can’t help but worry about not passing, but I am confident that the Lord can do anything. He can most definitely help me pass this French test. I feel silly saying that I have to pass this French test because there are many more important things in life, but God knows how bad I want to. So I will just believe that He will help me pass and that I will pass. Either way, I know He’ll give me bread.

I hope you all can trust in your Heavenly Father and His love. He loves you and wants to help you, but you must trust Him for Him to help. I memorized this scripture back when I was in Book of Mormon at BYU Idaho and it has been imprinted on my mind ever since. It’s Moroni 10:32-33.

“Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.

And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ by the grace of God, through the shedding of the blood of Christ, which is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of your sins, that ye become holy, without spot.”

I know Christ’s grace is real and that it can reach the deepest depths of sin. Please just believe in Him. Believe in His love. Believe in who you are and who you were designed to be. You are a child of God and therefore have divine potential. Do not let Satan allow you to doubt it. Believe like President Dieter F Uchtdorf counseled us and “Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith.” There is a part of you that know who you are and all you can do. Believe in that and push anything that tells you otherwise aside. Come unto Christ. He loves you and already paved the way for you to accomplish all things, all that’s left if for you is to believe and trust Him.

Here is a link for S Michael Wilcox's talk

https://devotional.byuh.edu/node/332

and we hear the voice of the Lord

With all the wonderful conference talks this weekend I don’t feel there’s much I need to add, so I will keep this short.

If you didn’t get a chance to watch or listen to General Conference this weekend, make the time to do so. If one thing’s true it’s that God speaks to His prophets FOR US. We are the reason they give their lives to move the kingdom of God forth. If you feel God is not aware of you, listen to the prophets and you will know that God is VERY mindful of you. I feel so blessed to have the knowledge that I have. It’s not just this church that’s amazing, it’s because Jesus Christ is at the head of this church. How can you watch conference and not be amazed by how everything fits together perfectly? And it’s not just this conference it’s every conference. None of them are assigned topics, yet they all flow together perfectly. As Elder Oaks stated, while many other churches are seeing a decrease in new members, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints grows continuously. Why is that? Because of the great secret we try so desperately to share: that the Savior appeared to a young 14 year old boy almost 200 years ago and restored His church to the earth. That is why. As great as many of the other churches are, we have that one thing no other church has, and that is why we will not stop till everyone has a chance to know the good news. God loves us and He STILL speaks to us!

Words cannot express how much I love this church. It is the greatest thing in my life; it is why I live. It is because this is Jesus Christ’s church and it is to Him I owe all my happiness, and as I continue to exercise faith in Him he showers me with more reasons to sing out His infinite goodness.

Student teaching is exhausting, well student teaching plus studying French everyday for a few hours is exhausting, but I know God has a plan. I’ve been going back and forth wondering if I really want to do this, some days I just wonder if it’s really worth it. The students are my everything though. I really love them and want them to always know that someone believes in them and supports them. The words of President Thomas S. Monson resounded in my ears, “A fundamental question remains to be answered,… shall I falter, or shall I finish?” Like anything worth doing, it’s going to take sweat and tears to get there. I know if I press on that I will look back with pride that I persevered through my student teaching. Much like I look back on the tough spots on my mission. There were those days that I just thought I should go home and give up because it just didn’t seem worth it, but I didn’t and I praise God for carrying me through because I am so much better for it. He knew what I could become through standing strong in the wind and I know I’m even stronger now for even fiercer winds to come. I don’t believe just because you face one hard trial you are good for the rest of your life. Quite the contrary, we will be tried even more till our journey’s end and we are “purified even as he is pure” (Moroni 7:48).

All of my questions were answered at conference, one of which being that I must always keep the first and greatest commandment: to love God with all my heart, might, mind and strength. I know without a shadow of a doubt that if my love for Him triumphs over everything else, then I WILL ALWAYS be happy. I hope I can help the world to see the great joys that come from knowing the one being who loves them beyond comprehension and imagination.

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland said, “Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend.”

Here’s some of my favorite quotes from just today’s speakers.

"Our purpose ... [is] to become more spiritually refined as we make our way through sunshine and shadow." President Thomas S. Monson

"Remember that all men have their fears, but those who face their fears with dignity have courage as well." Elder Dallin H. Oaks

“Heavenly Father has perfect foresight, knows each of us, and knows our future.” President Henry B. Eyring

"As you lose your life in ... service, ... Satan's temptations lose power in your life." Elder Richard G. Scott

Here’s where you can go to watch General Conference!

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/sessions/2013/10?cid=HPFR100413105&lang=eng

Touching Heaven

Of all the things that I could write about, I feel a need to express my gratitude for the bounteous blessings in my life.

 I’ve realized that life is always going to be busy, there are always going to be trials, but there are ALWAYS going to be divine blessings. God loves us and is always blessing us, but it’s my belief that the greatest part of any blessing is when we feel the joy and humility come in our hearts as we recognize God’s ever present hand in our lives.

President Joseph F. Smith said: “The grateful man sees so much in the world to be thankful for, and with him the good outweighs the evil. Love overpowers jealousy, and light drives darkness out of his life. Pride destroys gratitude and sets up selfishness in its place. How much happier we are in the presence of a grateful and loving soul, and how careful we should be to cultivate, through the medium of a prayerful life, a thankful attitude toward God and man!”

I know this is true. You cannot be sad when you are grateful, and there are always reasons to be grateful. I think of King Benjamin who taught us that if we were to use all our energies to thank the Lord, we wouldn’t have enough strength to thank Him for all He’s done for us (Mosiah 2). If you ever feel you don’t have much to be grateful for, just think of your Savior and the famous scripture John 3:16.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

For that blessing alone, you and I could spend all our days serving the Lord and we would still not be able to repay God for all He has done for us. And He doesn’t expect us to. He just wants us to be happy. He loved us so he sent his Son. He wants us to be happy now, so he gives us commandments to follow so we can feel closer to Him, closer to love, closer to our divine potential.

In the Book of Mormon it says we are to “live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which God doth bestow upon you” (Alma 34:38). President Thomas S. Monson has reminded us that in “regardless of our circumstances, each of us has much for which to be grateful if we will but pause and contemplate our blessings.”

I encourage all of you to take account of all your blessings and in some way express that gratitude. There is no way you can do so and not feel immensely happy with the life you have and live.

I know that God loves us and is always blessing us. I watched the bible video about seeking the kingdom of God. I wish that everyone could watch that video and truly understand God’s great love for them. I don’t comprehend it, but I believe it is so good. I feel it and I know that as I give myself and trust in the Lord, I will be happier than imaginable and it will last forever. Luke 12:32 says: “Fear not… For it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the Kingdom.” It is His good pleasure, the scriptures and our Savior’s life are a testament to that. I hope that we can all see and know that God’s greatest joy is in seeing His children happy. That has been his design since the beginning. He is all powerful, so why not trust in Him, He will never fail you and I know that as we prove faithful we will in hindsight thank Him for loving us enough for letting us go through hard times.

“Who was this Man of sorrows, acquainted with grief? Who is this King of glory, this Lord of hosts? He is our Master. He is our Savior. He is the Son of God. He is the author of our salvation. He beckons, “Follow me.” (Matt. 4:19.) He instructs, “Go, and do thou likewise.” (Luke 10:37.) He pleads, “Keep my commandments.” (John 14:15.)

Let us follow Him. Let us emulate His example. Let us obey His word. By so doing, we give to Him the divine gift of gratitude” (President Thomas S. Monson).

http://www.mormonchannel.org/bible-videos?v=2681586168001

I don’t expect all of you to read this, but I just wanted to post a list of gratitude that I came up with in just a few minutes. We have so much to be grateful for!

They say that feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a gift and not giving it. So for those who I owe the deepest feelings of gratitude, I hope you read this and know that you have been a bright part in my life and a gift from heaven to me for which I am eternally grateful for.

• ·         My Mom- you have been a rock. Whenever I feel weak, you are there to strengthen and support. You taught me trust and honor my Savior first and foremost and you taught me by your example. No matter the trial, you have never lost your faith, but I have seen it increase and it is you from which I gained my unshakable faith.
• ·         My Step-dad- you were there for our family when we needed something to bring us back together. You brought me back and you have taught me to never judge a person for what they may look like. You exemplify Christ-like love and the power of Christ’s love and Atonement.
• ·         My birth father- you gave me life and I know you’re still there supporting and guiding me.
• ·         Troy- Despite our differences, I have no doubts that you will always be there for me. You have taught me to trust in the Lord’s timing and that all our prayers will be answered.
• ·         Tabitha- My best friend and dearest sister. You inspired me to live a righteous life and you are always there for me. I don’t even have to speak and you know what I’m thinking and need.
• ·         Tiffany- You are my motivation to never give up and to be a blessing in the lives of others. Your sweetness and purity are a light in this world and have always been to me.
• ·         The Hakes- my new grandparents
• ·         Karly- my rock, no matter what, you’re there, good and bad. You’ve gotten me through every difficult time in my life. You exemplify unwavering faith in the Lord.
• ·         Georgie- you were my best friend during the most pivotal time of my life and you believed and saw something in me that I couldn’t see, but you helped me become it.
• ·         Clay- you taught me to trust in the Lord above my own understanding. You see me better than I see myself and helped me see that I am valued from what I am within.
• ·         Ashely Withers- Your happiness is inspiring and you countryesque life has taught me much about the truly important things in life.
• ·         Erica- I could talk with you for hours, laugh, cry, dance, you’re always there for and I always leave your presence uplifted.
• ·         Natalie- You have been there for me since we were little and you still show me what real faith in Christ is.
• ·         Kalani- Oh the spontaneous nights, the laughs and dreams we shared. You are there to make sure I don’t get anything less than the best.
• ·         I can’t get everyone, but I hope I can reach out to all who have helped and you can know you have made a difference here.
• ·         All my companions. You know who you are and what you did for me.
• ·         The teachers, in my life who took the time to make sure this girl understood what was going on. Janet, Donna, Anna-Lena.
• ·         All my extended family, Cali, Randi, and Roni, the wonderful laughs we shared staying up all night. Aunt Cindy for letting us crash in her front room for days on end.
• ·         All my grandparents who still never forget my birthday.
• ·         The jobs I’ve had, the skills I’ve gained and the people I’ve met and the life lessons I’ve learned.
• ·         Music, the artists who use their talents to inspire and uplift me.
• ·         Technology! So I can keep in touch with all of you and skype with family and friends all over the world.
• ·         All my roommates who have put up with me and my silly quirks and who still love me
• ·         All my Bishops who have fulfilled their callings to help me gain guidance I need to be the girl God needs me to be. Bishop Miller, Bishop Hadry, Bishop Ball.
• ·         Emily Ball, my post mission anchor. Shaela, Ahlin, Lauren.
• ·         I have to put salads and smoothies and nuts on this list. My 3 main food groups
• ·         The people I was able to be associated with on my mission. In no way can I list all of you. The Kreins, Cecilia and family, Wells, Cyndi, Davis’, Wilsons, Curtis’, Julia, Mama and Papa Lorenc, Eddie, Lacey, Watchmans (all of you), Nails, Woodcocks, Mary, Baldwins, Nicole, and so many more.
• ·         Dobson High, my ward, Parades’, Dotys, goodness I could go on and on.
• ·         A bed to sleep on, books to read, that I can read.
• ·         Scriptures! General Conference! Our prophet and apostles.
• ·         My Heavenly Father who is always there wanting to help me, but who believes I can do hard things.
• ·         My Savior who loves me and showed it by his life

"When we encounter challenges and problems in our lives, it is often difficult for us to focus on our blessings. However, if we reach deep enough and look hard enough, we will be able to feel and recognize just how much we have been given.

My brothers and sisters, to express gratitude is gracious and honorable, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live with gratitude ever in our hearts is to touch heaven."

I got a lot of my quotes from this famous talk by President Monson:

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1992/04/an-attitude-of-gratitude?lang=eng