Bound for blessings

Today I had a minor freak out when I realized I had no idea where my life would be in a month from now. I like to think I’m putting on a good face for others. I don’t like for people to know my personal life or that I may be going through a hard time. I don’t know why, but I feel like I’m supposed to have this perfect life and that I am supposed to be perfectly strong. It’s okay for other people to admit they’re having a hard time with things, but not me. I know that’s a pretty ridiculous way to view things, but its how I’ve always been.

There are a few people who somehow ask the right questions and gain my instant trust and then become the life savers I need. How many people do you think asked how I was doing and I said “good” before the guy came who asked and when I said okay he asked to explain. Now, I know there are a million people who will ask how you are doing, but how many will ask you to explain why? Not sure how to respond and not sure why I didn’t feel the need to keep my mask on, I said if he really wanted to know I would tell him, but it would take awhile and in the end I was okay and knew I would be okay. He said he’s a really good listener and would love to help.

I never suspected this guy would have the answers to bring the peace I needed. Those of you with the gift of listening, thank you. You never know when a girl who is scared to bring her mask down, but who wishes all the time she could will gain an answer to her prayers through ready and willing listening ears. He said, “you’re keeping the commandments right? Then don’t worry! God is bound to bless you! So if you get this job that is what is meant to happen to bring you happiness. If you don’t get it then wherever you end up it will be the best place for you to be. Isn’t that exciting? When he asked that, I really did feel excited and happy. Even though I don’t know where I’ll be, I know I’ll always be where I am meant to be. I am keeping the commandments and doing all the little things, so I can know that even if I don’t get this job at Dobson, I won’t end up in a worse place, I’ll end up in a better.

My birthday was pretty great. I have the best mother in the whole wide world who made an amazing photo album of my whole mission. I miss my mission every day still, and that photo album just brought so much joy in my life. The Hakes tried making a healthy cake, ha. They used sugar instead of honey. It wasn’t as bad as you would think a healthy cake would be. The raspberries saved a lot of its integrity. I remember when I was little how important having a day all about me was, but really I don’t think it’s all that important anymore. I’m grateful to be alive and grateful to be able to love and do all the things I am capable of. I just pray that with each year God blesses me with I can use it to its full measure. I’m excited to celebrate Christ’s birthday soon. I know that the way He wants us to celebrate His life is in remembering Him in all we do and say, that love be the motivating power behind everything we do, selfless love.

Henry Van Dyke said, “Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.”

I know it's true that Heavenly Father loves us. Every commandment is given with the design to bring us more happiness and to protect us from unnecessary sorrow. I am not worried about what will come because I am committed to always follow and serve the Lord, which guarantees eternal joy.

I posted this on my fb page, but if you want a great talk to get in the mood for Thanksgiving read this,

http://www.lds.org/prophets-and-apostles/unto-all-the-world/reconciliation-and-thanksgiving?lang=eng

Last thing, one of the students I got really close to moved this week. I obviously can't share a lot about him, but he was a student I know I was supposed to be here to meet. He came to tell me bye and said thank you for caring about him. I really love these kids so much and hate the thought of saying goodbye, they are such a huge part of my life, they are my life. I am grateful that God inspired me to switch careers and be a teacher, this week I saw at least one reason why I was meant to be a teacher. I miss my mission, but I am still in the business of saving souls, as I will always be. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.

The Hakes took this right before Josette sang Happy Birthday to me in French! Thank you to everyone for a most Happy Birthday.