They that know Him

“They that know thy name will put their trust in thee” (Psalms 9:10). In my studies lately I kept asking God to help me to trust Him more and today in church the thought came to me that I was asking the wrong thing. God can only do so much to get us to trust Him. The question I needed to be asking is “How can I trust thee more?” I decided to look up all the scriptures that reference Trust in God, it was this psalm that stood out most to me, “They that know thy name will put their trust in thee.” My answer was that I needed to do more to truly know my God.

As I was visiting with a sister in my ward, we discussed the great love that God has for us. However, sometimes we feel so inadequate that we should ask for such a being for help. Then and there I realized my lack of trust, how far I was from really knowing my Heavenly Father. As grand as this universe is, WE are the reason it was created. WE are the reason He counseled men to account for as long as the world has existed to document His dealings with them, His love for them. WE are the reason He sent His Only Begotten Son to live the most difficult life in existence, to be beaten and crucified. Why do we question such love? It is because Satan is so good at placing doubts in our hearts. We feel that because we have done too many wrong things, or done the same wrong thing too many times. Or promised God we would be better and then fallen, and then promised, and then fallen, again and again, until we finally are convinced by the father of lies that God surely is sick of hearing us promise the same thing and not following through. Let me just say that when we promised to endure to the end we did not promise perfection to the end, we promised “to continue in patience until [we] are perfected” (D&C 67:13).

I have felt so many times that I was unworthy of praying to my God because I know where I am weak, and I know He knows. It’s a very humbling thing to come to the one who knows you better than you know yourself and “bother” Him with the things you desire or need when you think there are so many more deserving people He could be listening to. What an immature thought that is to think that the One who created and governs time and the universe is on some kind of time crunch. He can and will listen to every one of His children and He is on no agenda.

Now I may say all these things, but if you know me, you know that the things I write about are the things that I need the most help with and am working through on my own, that’s why I write. I have had those moments when I felt I could not pray. I knelt by my bed, or on the bathroom floor, in a closet, and knelt there crying just wishing I could feel worthy to say my hearts desires. Finally, the words come and the love of God enters in. Today I realized how much I do not know my Heavenly Father and that is why I feel I lack the trust in Him I need. 

How grateful I am not only for the scriptures that are a testimony of His constant unconditional love, but for living prophets, for the endless amount of encouragement found on lds.org, mormon.org, the mormon channel. For the temple! You cannot be there and not know that your Heavenly Father is aware of you and that everything He does is for you. I'm grateful that I can listen to a talk every morning for the rest of my life and still never be able to hear every talk that has ever been given by God’s guided leaders. Everyday more are added to the list! How is it that we have such a bountiful amount of evidence of God’s love I still have my doubts? First of all, because Satan is evil and second, because the only thing that can convince us is the Holy Ghost sealing in our hearts that His love is real.

I know that as I seek to truly know my Heavenly Father, I will trust in Him more. Then I will able to be all that I was created to be. He is wonderful. He truly loves us. Do not just take my word for it, or any of the apostles or anyone else, but let our word encourage you to know that love for yourself. As we begin to believe in such a pure love, we will become it. Together, as we selflessly love, we will come to know God and we will have an unfailing trust in Him and in His promises.

School’s been great. I love my students. I take my French test this Saturday and as much time as I could use to prepare, I am so ready to be done. I have truly never been more exhausted in my life. I’ve gotten sick twice this month now and I hardly ever get sick. The Hakes are so good to me and my tutor has spent hours every day helping prepare me for this. I’ve put my all in it and will give my all this week and trust in the Lord that whatever the outcome, everything will work out.

I love this gospel with all my heart and am so grateful for my knowledge that God loves me unconditionally. He always has and always will. I just hope that I can do what I need to do to know Him better every day and have enough trust and faith that I can change every day to be more like Him. 

This is a bit of a long address from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, but I listened to it this morning and was greatly impressed. I know that each of us is here at this specific time for a reason. God saved us for this day for a reason. God needs you. Do not doubt it. Find out why, and what you can do to accomplish all that He needs you to do. God is calling.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8MI6nyvTNw

Peace from Prayer

I wish there was a way to capture the moments of peace the spirit gives us and place them in a jar to turn to in times of doubt. I guess that’s why the prophets admonish us to keep journals. I have such a strong testimony that we can always know what we are supposed to do if we seek the Lord’s will with real intent. As a missionary, we taught this principle all the time, but it feels like a while I’ve really thought about it. Moroni’s promise is the first thing missionaries share because taking him up on that promise will change anyone’s life. We should apply that promise every time we seek guidance or understanding on anything. I remember teaching people on my mission that all the questions of the soul can be answered through The Book of Mormon. Moroni promises the world that they read The Book of Mormon, ponder about it, and ask God with a sincere heart and with real intent if it is true, they WILL know by the power of the Holy Ghost if it is true. Then he adds, “And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.”

People wonder why so many young men and women give their lives up to serve missions. Well that is why. They have the greatest promise in the world to share. ALL life’s concerns and questions of the soul can be answered in The Book of Mormon. All we need to do is truly ask.

This week I sought God’s guidance for something I knew only He could bring me peace on. I remembered what Moroni said about real intent. When we would tell people to ask God with real intent if The Book of Mormon we told them it meant that they would be willing to act on WHATEVER answer God gave them. So often we pray with a bias. We know what we want and we just want God to tell us that what we desire is the right thing. If you want God to guide you in the best way, you have to be willing to trust His will and trust that the greatest good will come by following whatever He tells you. We are told we must have a “broken heart and a contrite spirit” (3 Nephi 12:19.) We must allow our will to be swallowed up in the will of the Father. (Mosiah 15:7.)

Getting to that point is sometimes difficult, but I promise that it is always worth it. God loves us. He wants us to be happy and if we trust Him we are guaranteed all that He has. Happiness beyond imagination is ours. I watched Elder Bednar’s videos about “Light” and they gave me so much clarity, especially the part about seeing a light through the fog and taking one step at a time to reach it. We will know the end when the time is right, but for now He guides us one step at a time. Trust Him and take those little steps towards Him even though you don’t know how those steps will get you there. Tell God you are willing to do whatever He tells you and I KNOW He will tell you in your mind and in your heart what you should do (D&C 8:2). Then make sure you right it down because just like after Moses’ vision with the Lord, Satan will come and try and confuse and deceive you (Moses 1). Remember that that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good (Moroni 7:13). “Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith” (President Uchtdorf).

I really thought I was going to make this post short, but yet again my thoughts kept flowing. God does speak. We have prophets to lead and guide us and we have the greatest gift, the gift of the Holy Ghost, who tells us all things that we should do. I pray that we all call upon and use that great gift as if it were the greatest gift we had.

I love my students and am so ready for this French test to be over with in 2 weeks so I can focus on them more, and have somewhat of a life again. I have already started listening to Christmas music, just piano music, but I sure love it, it’s only like 2 months away!

I was able to see a couple of wonderful people from my mission last night and hold their baby that I never got to hold as a missionary. I love this gospel so much and am so grateful for this church and all its programs. Institute is amazing and I love my class and teacher. I love my ward and how genuinely kind everyone is. I love my friends and family all over the country and world who love and support me. Most of all, I love my Heavenly Father who watches over me and who through every trial brings me a little closer to Him. I love my Savior whose Atonement gives me faith and hope that my righteous desires can and will be reached. I and we can have our greatest dreams come true. What glorious news we have to share. I pray we may all believe in Him enough to believe in what He can do for us. 

Here's a link for the short videos by Elder Bednar. This is the last one, but it has the part about how receiving God's guidance is often like walking through the fog.

http://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2012-01-012-patterns-of-light-spirit-of-revelation?lang=eng

God is so good!

God is so good. I wish to say that I cannot wait to see Him again, but then I’m pretty sure I can because I’m not ready for this life to be over. But I can say that seeing Him again will be a more glorious reunion than I can possibly imagine. I love Him so much. I think of I Jhn 4:10 when he says, “Herein is love, not that we love God, but that he loved us..” I wish I could say that the reason I love God is simply because He is my father, but the biggest reason I love Him so much is because He loves me so much, of that I have no doubt. We all make mistakes, but he expects that! If he expected us to be perfect He would’ve either gone with Satan’s plan, or intended for us to fail. But He loves us. Truly loves us, and that is why He sent us to make mistakes, to learn to trust in Him and His love. Jesus Christ knew all along that he was going to provide an Atonement for us. At-one-ment: to bring back together that which has been estranged. When you think of your mistakes, do not think of how unworthy you are. Rather, realize that if you are feeling guilty then you are in the right place to be given forgiveness and healing! You are align with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ’s plan by feeling so!


A good friend of mine told me yesterday that God does not put negative feelings in you. That is Satan, God only gives good. When the Pharisees and scribes brought the woman who committed adultery before the Savior, he didn’t make her feel awful for her sin did He? That is not His way. His way is love. The scripture says, “and said [He] unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her… When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more” (John 8:7-11). The scribes and Pharisees like the adversary wanted “the sinner” to feel worthless for her sin. Jesus Christ provided hope. He showed to them and all of us, that all of us sin. No one can cast a stone because everyone is with sin. You may think, your sin is so great that it’s different for you, but if you feel that way I encourage you to study the life of Saul turned to Paul, or Alma the Younger. If people who have committed such sins against God as them can be forgiven and changed, anyone can.

I have always been someone with pretty strong faith, but Satan has really been working on me to make me think that God must not love me since He is not answering my prayers. I speak with God all the time, and yes it’s true I sometimes weaken because I don’t know why He hasn’t given me what I most want when I have and am doing all I can to keep his commandments. I know God just weeps when we have thoughts like this. He yearns for us to see things as He does. He yearns for us to trust Him. I searched “ask” in the scriptures and found that it appeared in more than 420 different locations. I realized then that Heavenly Father would not include that so many times if He really wasn’t intending on giving us what we ask for. In Matt 7 the Savior says that when we ask for bread the Lord will not give a stone, or if we ask for a fish we will not be given a serpent. There is an excellent talk by S Michael Wilcox called “Bread or Stones: understanding the God we pray to” in which he elaborates on this idea. He says that,

“What we must understand about our Father in Heaven is that He only gives bread; He never gives stones. He only gives fish; He never gives serpents. He only gives eggs; He never gives scorpions.” He continues,“A stone, when you want bread, is something useless. God does not give useless things. He did not give me a serpent; a serpent, when you want a fish, is something harmful. He does not give harmful things; He only gives bread, and fish, and eggs.”

God only gives good things. Trust in Him. Trust in His plan. Maybe the bread for you isn’t what you were praying for. He loves you and wants to give you the very best. Everything you ask for in faith will be given, so do not give up hope. He will provide.

I love God so much. This week off school I gave my all to studying French. My tutor was here pretty much all day everyday and I have been so exhausted. I was able to go dancing one night and to the temple another and help cater a wedding, but French has consumed my life. I want to pass this test so I can get certified to teach and I know that God will help me so long as I show Him how bad I want it. I can’t help but worry about not passing, but I am confident that the Lord can do anything. He can most definitely help me pass this French test. I feel silly saying that I have to pass this French test because there are many more important things in life, but God knows how bad I want to. So I will just believe that He will help me pass and that I will pass. Either way, I know He’ll give me bread.

I hope you all can trust in your Heavenly Father and His love. He loves you and wants to help you, but you must trust Him for Him to help. I memorized this scripture back when I was in Book of Mormon at BYU Idaho and it has been imprinted on my mind ever since. It’s Moroni 10:32-33.

“Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.

And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ by the grace of God, through the shedding of the blood of Christ, which is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of your sins, that ye become holy, without spot.”

I know Christ’s grace is real and that it can reach the deepest depths of sin. Please just believe in Him. Believe in His love. Believe in who you are and who you were designed to be. You are a child of God and therefore have divine potential. Do not let Satan allow you to doubt it. Believe like President Dieter F Uchtdorf counseled us and “Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith.” There is a part of you that know who you are and all you can do. Believe in that and push anything that tells you otherwise aside. Come unto Christ. He loves you and already paved the way for you to accomplish all things, all that’s left if for you is to believe and trust Him.

Here is a link for S Michael Wilcox's talk

https://devotional.byuh.edu/node/332

and we hear the voice of the Lord

With all the wonderful conference talks this weekend I don’t feel there’s much I need to add, so I will keep this short.

If you didn’t get a chance to watch or listen to General Conference this weekend, make the time to do so. If one thing’s true it’s that God speaks to His prophets FOR US. We are the reason they give their lives to move the kingdom of God forth. If you feel God is not aware of you, listen to the prophets and you will know that God is VERY mindful of you. I feel so blessed to have the knowledge that I have. It’s not just this church that’s amazing, it’s because Jesus Christ is at the head of this church. How can you watch conference and not be amazed by how everything fits together perfectly? And it’s not just this conference it’s every conference. None of them are assigned topics, yet they all flow together perfectly. As Elder Oaks stated, while many other churches are seeing a decrease in new members, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints grows continuously. Why is that? Because of the great secret we try so desperately to share: that the Savior appeared to a young 14 year old boy almost 200 years ago and restored His church to the earth. That is why. As great as many of the other churches are, we have that one thing no other church has, and that is why we will not stop till everyone has a chance to know the good news. God loves us and He STILL speaks to us!

Words cannot express how much I love this church. It is the greatest thing in my life; it is why I live. It is because this is Jesus Christ’s church and it is to Him I owe all my happiness, and as I continue to exercise faith in Him he showers me with more reasons to sing out His infinite goodness.

Student teaching is exhausting, well student teaching plus studying French everyday for a few hours is exhausting, but I know God has a plan. I’ve been going back and forth wondering if I really want to do this, some days I just wonder if it’s really worth it. The students are my everything though. I really love them and want them to always know that someone believes in them and supports them. The words of President Thomas S. Monson resounded in my ears, “A fundamental question remains to be answered,… shall I falter, or shall I finish?” Like anything worth doing, it’s going to take sweat and tears to get there. I know if I press on that I will look back with pride that I persevered through my student teaching. Much like I look back on the tough spots on my mission. There were those days that I just thought I should go home and give up because it just didn’t seem worth it, but I didn’t and I praise God for carrying me through because I am so much better for it. He knew what I could become through standing strong in the wind and I know I’m even stronger now for even fiercer winds to come. I don’t believe just because you face one hard trial you are good for the rest of your life. Quite the contrary, we will be tried even more till our journey’s end and we are “purified even as he is pure” (Moroni 7:48).

All of my questions were answered at conference, one of which being that I must always keep the first and greatest commandment: to love God with all my heart, might, mind and strength. I know without a shadow of a doubt that if my love for Him triumphs over everything else, then I WILL ALWAYS be happy. I hope I can help the world to see the great joys that come from knowing the one being who loves them beyond comprehension and imagination.

As Elder Jeffrey R Holland said, “Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend.”

Here’s some of my favorite quotes from just today’s speakers.

"Our purpose ... [is] to become more spiritually refined as we make our way through sunshine and shadow." President Thomas S. Monson

"Remember that all men have their fears, but those who face their fears with dignity have courage as well." Elder Dallin H. Oaks

“Heavenly Father has perfect foresight, knows each of us, and knows our future.” President Henry B. Eyring

"As you lose your life in ... service, ... Satan's temptations lose power in your life." Elder Richard G. Scott

Here’s where you can go to watch General Conference!

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/sessions/2013/10?cid=HPFR100413105&lang=eng