The Release

Life has been incredible. I feel however that the Sister to Trisha phase is kinda over. Life is exciting and every new chapter is full of possibilities and the great thing about our existence is there is always another chapter. Sometimes I get really sad at the end of a chapter, but I really have learned that life always keeps getting better. When my friend gave me that counsel when I first got home I stuck it away to remind myself almost every day.

Today the sister missionaries spoke in my home ward and at first it made me miss my mission, but I realized I no longer had an ache to be back. I am so happy with my life and SO grateful I was able to serve. There is no way to explain the changes and experiences I went through. Only my companions and those around me could have an idea of what I learned and how I grew. Today I realized what a treasure my mission memories are, but I realized all that had happened in the last few months and the mission I am still on. There is nowhere else I’d rather be than right where I am. Life really has just kept getting better. Some days I thought I was just convincing myself, but looking back I see a little bit of Heavenly Father’s plan. I look back with awe at his wisdom and love. 

When a missionary comes home from their mission, they go through what's called a release. It's a lot less exciting than a setting apart and a lot more simple. When you're set a part as a missionary you are interviewed and often review your life with those who have had the most influence on you. There are tears of joy as a missionary is set apart from the world to have the authority to represent the Savior. When a missionary comes home the release is simple and, for me, felt like a heart break. I cried with joy when my badge was place on me, and at the time to take it off I cried with confusion and sadness. I didn't want to let go. I think they call it a release because you aren't being demoted, you are being let go, but let go to a more difficult challenge than you can imagine. If a returned missionary doesn't let go of the mission, they will never be able to progress. Don't let go of the memories and the things you've learned, but let go of that chapter and let it effect the next. It's taken me awhile to figure out the importance of the release and why the mission ends, but I have come to the conclusion that the only way for us to reach our potential and fulfill our life long missions is to clasp our hands in the Saviors and keep our eyes on His. Remember, but don't look back. Release and let go and embrace the future with confidence in the God's plan for you.

The last time I was with my family I had the impression to start this blog, and I’m so glad I did. I thought I needed it because I didn’t want to give up my mission quite yet. I realize now I never need to give up my mission, but I am no longer wistful to be back because I trust in my Heavenly Father. He has shown me time and time again that as I counsel with the Lord in all my doings, he will direct me for good (Alma 37:37). There will come times when I don’t know why I am where I am or doing what I’m doing, but if I am confident that the Lord does, if I continue to follow Him over all else, I have nothing to fear. Trials will come, I have no doubt. Trials harder than any I have yet been through.

As a missionary, I learned all the principles of the gospel and thought I had mastered them. In the last few months, all I preached has been put to the test in my own life. Will I really make time to study my scriptures when it’s not set in my busy day schedule? Will I be active in my ward when worldly cares are more pressing? Will I stop to share the gospel with my co-workers during lunch when I have lesson plans to create and papers to grade? Will I continue to pray when all my plans fall through? One of the dear members in my last area on my mission asked me to tell him if I can keep up all the things I did as a missionary in my real life. At the time I thought of course I would, but that challenge he gave to me has pushed me these last few months. I realized how many excuses we can easily make for why we neglect our duties as disciples. I wanted to keep my sister habits in the new Trisha. I promised to consecrate my all to the Lord and His work. I never wanted to justify my way out of my most important priority. Everything in life comes second to the Lord. I KNOW if I follow Him everything else works out! He has proved that to me time and time again. I may only know what I’m doing for a step or two, but that is really all I need to know. The creator of the universe has the rest of the path perfectly charted out. Why question his will? Read the scriptures and see what He does for those who just simply trust in Him. These last few months every step has been out of faith: Moving to Mesa, no friends, no family, no car, relationships, lesson plans, declining working abroad. Now I have my dream job to look forward to, I have a car and I have friends and family nearby everywhere. I trust in the Lord and am SO grateful for all I have experienced. I have no idea what the future will bring, but I know that the Lord is at the helm of my life. I will face every day with trust in Him and I know I will always look back on life with awe at the many blessings of the Lord.

Thank you everyone who has been there supporting me through my life. Knowing you believe in me has kept me going. My aspiration is to be the kind of person that others always know believes in their dreams and divine potential. Many of you have pushed me to be where I am and I hope with my new job and blessings I can pay forward that love so many of you have been the benefactors of for me.

I’m excited for the New Year and the prospects it brings. I’ve thought for a long time about ending this blog, but it never felt right until now. I’m sure I’ll make myself heard in your lives in one way or another, but I think Sister Stewart has finally settled into Trisha Stewart’s life. My authority once was that above the kings of the earth and well… it still is. My calling came when I was 8 years old and chose to be baptized and enter into a covenant with my Savior. All through Young Women’s I said I would stand as a witness of God at all times and in all things and in all places. Then as a missionary I repeated “My Missionary Commission” and now I realize that commission is a lifelong commission that began when I was 8 years old. The only difference between before and after mission is that before I was preparing to stand up and now I am the leader preparing others to stand up. That commission has become a part of me as is the destiny of all of us. Not only do we get to represent our Savior when we take His name upon us through baptism, but that is His gift to us, that we do not have to stay in this fallen world. Through Jesus Christ ALL things will be made perfect. He gives us the choice to become perfect and takes away all excuses for failure. He is the way the truth and the light and we are the examples He needs to share that truth and light with all God’s children (John 14:6). I want to serve the one man who has always had my best interest at heart. I am His Sister and my mission doesn’t end until He comes again.  

My Missionary Commission

by Elder Bruce R. McConkie

I am called of God.

My authority is above that of kings of the earth.
By revelation I have been selected as a personal representative of the Lord Jesus Christ.
He is my master and He has chosen me to represent Him--to stand in His place, to say and do what He Himself would say and do if He personally were ministering to the very people to whom He has sent me.
My voice is His voice, and my acts are His acts; my doctrine is His doctrine.
My Commission is to do what He wants done; To say what He wants said; to be a living modern witness in word and in deed of the divinity of his great and marvelous Latter-day work.
How great is my calling!